Simon Sinek’s quote, “A boss has the title; a leader has the people,” is one of my favourite leadership quotes of all time. It reminds me of a time when I was abruptly silenced in a meeting by a highly upset executive for saying, “People don’t leave companies; they leave managers.” But that’s a story for another day …

As highlighted in Simon’s quote, leadership is not about titles, authority, control, or perks (like a designated parking space with your name on it). Leadership is a responsibility that revolves around consistently caring for and nurturing those under your guidance.

When people feel cared for and feel that their growth matters to their leader, trust is built, open dialogue becomes the norm, psychological safety is established, creativity flourishes, collaboration thrives – the list is endless.

Legitimate leadership is grounded in the principle that true leaders are here to serve their teams, not to be served.

Here is my perspective on what sets legitimate leaders apart:

1. Legitimate leaders do not control; they empower. Leaders who micromanage or dismiss their team’s input undermine trust and stifle creativity. Legitimate leaders provide their teams with autonomy within clear boundaries, trusting them to deliver against clearly-articulated standards and holding them accountable when they fall short. They understand that legitimate power cannot be demanded; it is granted by choice, by the people they serve.
2. Legitimate leaders have the courage to show up as themselves because they see themselves and others as human first. They view authenticity and vulnerability as leadership super-powers, not weaknesses. They recognise that failing to greet their team, skipping check-ins, showing no interest in their lives outside of work, or neglecting to admit mistakes, gradually erodes trust and connection. A simple “How are you?” or an acknowledgement of personal milestones can make a world of difference.
3. Legitimate leaders do not avoid tough conversations to save face or to be liked. They have mastered the art of delivering difficult messages with the right balance of candour and care. They understand that withholding feedback to avoid discomfort is not an act of kindness but a sign of cowardice. It is a disservice to those who need constructive criticism to grow. In the words of Wendy Lambourne in her book Legitimate Leadership In Action, “The gardener does not ask the rose how it would like to be pruned. The gardener knows what is required for the rose to flourish …” Thus, legitimate leaders set aside their discomfort to help their people improve.
4. Legitimate leaders do not make empty promises. An “open-door policy” means nothing if you are never available. They walk the talk and understand that reliability builds trust, while inconsistency breeds cynicism. If you commit to listening, listen. If you promise action, deliver. Consistently!
5. Legitimate leaders prioritise doing what is right over being liked. They are unafraid to challenge the status quo for the benefit of the people in their care – not for personal gain.

In essence, Legitimate leaders focus on fostering a culture of care, trust, accountability, and loyalty.